Hi! My name is D----, and I am in group because I am a partner of a sex addict and sexual anorexic and I am healing from co-sex addiction, codependency, low self esteem, and over eating.


I feel great about my recovery today. I've done a lot of catching up work and am addressing some issues in my life, so this week is going well. I did more work on my letter to God this week and I will probably post that later today or tomorrow.


I haven't been acting out since I last posted, and I haven't been acting in either. It feels really good to say that!


This week I felt so productive. I started chipping away at the mess in the house, took pictures of three of the kids for our Christmas card, and read an entire book. I felt like this as a child sometimes when everything was "just so" in my life (clean room, laundry done, caught up in school, and caught up with friends).


My five commandments this week are in pretty good shape. I've prayed every morning and night with my husband, read recovery material, made calls, and attended group (this blog, plus my online group).

My self care this week was getting my hair cut and colored. It hasn't been done since late August/early September, right when the kids started school. Oh boy, was it time!

While I was sitting there for four hours, I read Doug Weiss' book Get a Grip, from beginning to end. That was my spiritual self care. Good read.

And what I like about myself this week is I am applying some more of the principles of recovery to my life and it's been very helpful.

Hi! My name is D----, and I'm in group because I am a partner of a sex addict and sexual anorexic and I am healing from co-sex addiction, codependency, low self-esteem, and overeating.

I feel really bad about my recovery today. I've been acting out and acting in this week. This week for recovery work I continued working on my letter to God. What do you say?? I can't really think of anything except, "Thank you." The letter keeps coming back to thank you. I can't really work on that here until I finish it. Hopefully soon.

Acting out behaviors this week were checking the history on the computer once, shaming my son, and trying to think about what my husband is thinking. Acting in behaviors this week were eating, computer, and avoidance. I didn't give myself consequences. I think that might be why I feel my recovery is going so poorly right now. I probably should give myself some consequences again.

This week I felt really immobilized. It was my daughter's birthday this week and I wasn't able to give her a party because of my middle son being home recovering from surgery. I am still homeschooling my youngest son this year, so obviously he is home too. So, in a nutshell, everyone is home except my college boy, and the house looks like a war zone. The only one that can truly help right now is my youngest son, and I feel really bad dumping more work on him. It's crazy because I've got snowmen mixed in among the pumpkins that haven't made their way into the Halloween totes yet. Ugh...I felt like this as a child often. My parent's house looked like this on a fairly regular basis. Newspapers lying around, amid clothes and dirty dishes. I'm feeling like I want to jump out of my skin to run away from this place. I want to start cleaning but I have no idea where to begin, so I am immobilized.

My five commandments are alive and well this week. Forgive me for not calling. I'm still dealing with getting my son on the road to recovery. I have to remember that this too shall pass.

My spiritual self care this week was nothing.

My self care this week was nothing.

What I like about myself today is nothing.

It's my pity party and I'll cry if I want to...

November 29, 2007

Hi!

My name is D---- and I'm in group because I am a partner of a sex addict and sexual anorexic, and I am healing from co-sex addiction, codependency, low self-esteem, and over-eating.

I feel set back in my recovery today. It has been a very stressful week with my son's surgery, therefore I haven't been working in my book, and I must say I have really missed it.

This week for recovery work I worked on Exercise #87 and you can read that in my Beyond Love blog if you want.

My acting out this week came in the form of being controlling towards my husband by telling him where to park, how to drive, which lane to be in . Generally, I was just one of those backseat drivers.

Acting in was different this week. I didn't go for the usual hit of sugar and carbs that I normally do. Instead I went shopping...retail therapy, as I heard Jenny call it. I think I may have been doing some avoiding as well. No consequences again.

This week I felt like I was being cattle-prodded all week long. I remember feeling like this as an adolescent, taking final exams. High stress, and very little time before the next stressor was on the horizon.

My five commandments this week took a beating. My prayers were unorganized, desperate pleas to God to let everything be alright with my son. Morning and evening prayers the way I enjoy them only happened twice this week, yesterday and the day before. Reading recovery material didn't really happen either. I did make two or three recovery calls though. And I had a telephone session with Kim.

My spiritual self care this week was reading a book by Wayne Jacobsen, He Loves Me.

My self care this week was nonexistent.

What I like about myself today is I met a deadline for a project that needed attention.